Heartbroken Heights Read online

  “That’s pretty cool. It’s nice when people are, well… nice. Sounds fun.”

  “Yeah, you, uh… you said that already.” A few long seconds of awkward silence reigned between them before David tried a new topic. “Oh hey, I’m going back to Red Rock Canyon to climb with someone this weekend. Want to come if you’ll be back in time? We’ll do some hiking too, and both of us are more than willing to pose for photos.”

  “One of your friends that I’ve met?”

  “No, not one from the big trip,” David said, taken aback by the abrupt, pointed question. “Her name’s Kathleen. She’s flying here from Colorado.”

  “Oh.”

  It could be hard to get emotions over the phone sometimes, but that sounded like a fairly normal oh to David, so he ventured, “So… want to come? Saturday or Sunday, or both? Or neither if you won’t be back in time.”

  “Uh… I’m coming back Friday, I think. So sure.”

  “You don’t sound sure,” David pointed out, his heart sinking even further. What had happened to the Chloe that always sounded so excited to answer his calls?

  “Yeah, I might have work stuff to catch up on when I get back. Vacation time isn’t as easy as just taking the time off when you have clients to think about.”

  But it was easy to get time off with no notice at all to go to LA? Her snappish questions, non-committal answers and standoffish attitude raised so many questions, but David didn’t want to press her over the phone. If he could just see her and talk to her face to face, they could talk—like really talk. David could clear whatever awkwardness had wormed its way between them if he could look into Chloe’s eyes, reach out to touch her and make her understand that she could tell him anything.

  “I understand.” That was a lie, but he couldn’t bring himself to feel guilty for it. “Just let me know. And can we talk when you get back?” David asked. “Over a picnic at the canyon if you can come, or after if you can’t?”

  “I’m sure we’ll figure something out.”

  David waited, kept waiting and then waited some more. “Cool,” he said finally when it became clear she had no intention of continuing. “See you soon, then.”

  “See you.”

  Over the next few days, David did his best to shrug off Chloe’s cool behavior and go about his training regimen as normal. Things seldom weighed on his mind, but Chloe continued to prove herself the exception to most rules he had lived by for years. The part of him that missed her constantly nagged at the rest of his mind, weighing him down in the gym and prodding him into tossing and turning at night.

  He might not have to deal with this exhausting state for much longer, though. On Friday a couple hours before Kathleen’s flight was set to land, David checked his phone to find a text from Chloe confirming her plans to come watch the two climb tomorrow in the canyon.

  Relief urged David to turn up the radio and sing along to his favorite songs as he drove to the airport to pick up Kathleen. Tomorrow, he would see Chloe. Tomorrow, they would talk and everything would be okay.

  A simple hug sufficed to wipe away the time David had spent avoiding Kathleen’s company. She was just as vibrant and friendly as ever, and he managed to get through an evening of wine and card games with only short bouts of misgivings about the climbing he had been roped into the next day.

  Saturday morning, David woke up bright and early. He and Kathleen set about making breakfast together, pausing their chatter only so that David could check in with Chloe.

  “Hey, we’ll be by to pick you up in about forty-five minutes,” David told her.

  “Okay. I’ll be ready,” Chloe promised, her voice tinged with a faint note of excitement. This was the Chloe David had met on that narrow trail in the canyon. This was the Chloe who loved adventure and spending time in the great outdoors.

  Yet again, David couldn’t help but wonder if he had imagined the distance between them. Her sudden trip to California and the change in her mood could have nothing to do with him. Adults have to deal with adult things sometimes. She had told David that her mom was doing just fine, but family issues might be the kind of thing that Chloe didn’t feel comfortable talking about.

  David carried this comforting conjecture with him as he and Kathleen lugged their gear to the car. After a quiet ride through the early-morning streets, David started to pull up to the curb outside Chloe’s apartment.

  The smooth stop turned into a slow, interminable crawl as David realized something. Now could be the perfect time to talk to Chloe. He could ask Kathleen to wait in the car, walk up to Chloe’s door by himself and gently push for answers. If anything was wrong, they could get it sorted out right now before spending the day together.

  “Come on, hurry up!” Kathleen urged enthusiastically, pushing her door open before David finished his extended stop. He watched his opportunity to grab Chloe for a quick talk evaporate as Kathleen led their march across the street. “Ooh, Chloe gave you the building code,” Kathleen teased as she watched David punch in a few numbers and pull the glass door open.

  “Shut up,” David told her goodnaturedly. He had told her about Chloe—obviously, since Chloe would be joining them in Red Rock Canyon today—but he hadn’t gone into the details of the time they had spent together. Kathleen hadn’t pressed, which surprised him until he realized that she had probably talked to Julian, who would have told her why David was staying in town.

  There it was, finally, after all these months. David could finally admit to himself that Chloe was the reason he was staying. It wasn’t the well-equipped, high-rising rock-climbing gyms, the proximity of Red Rock Canyon, Julian’s friendship or some silly excuse about not needing to get ready for the competition in a specific city.

  Climbing drew David to Reno. Chloe kept him here.

  But how long could this continue? No matter how much David had enjoyed his time with Chloe, he had to go to Atlanta soon, and after that… he couldn’t stay in Reno forever.

  Over lunch, David reminded himself. A pleasant picnic would provide him with the perfect opportunity to talk to and possibly apologize to the woman who had washed away years of regrets in just a few months.

  Chloe made him feel… well, young again, although young might not be the right word since David was only thirty years old. More like… new, or maybe refreshed, like the bad had been flushed away and replaced with the good that had been lacking. She made his heart flutter with a newly-awakened romance that made every second not spent with her a second wasted. He always wanted to do fun, cute little things that Chloe wouldn’t expect so that he could surprise smiles out of her. He wanted to hold her close and close his eyes, letting himself enjoy the simplicity of physical connection.

  These were all things David experienced with Chloe. They were things he wanted to experience for the rest of his life, and he couldn’t let a simple misunderstanding get in the way.

  Because that was what this had to be… right? A misunderstanding. Just a misunderstanding.

  Over lunch, David promised himself once more as he stopped in front of Chloe’s door and reached up a hand to knock.

  David forgot the greeting he had prepared in his head as the door swung open to reveal Chloe. Like a punch to the gut, seeing her again struck him with exactly how much he had missed her, how beautiful she was and how much she meant to him even after just a few short months.

  “Almost ready!” she proclaimed. “I just have to grab my sweatshirt and jacket.”

  A little amused cough jarred David out of his admiration. “Oh, Chloe, this is Kathleen,” he said quickly.

  “I figured,” Chloe said wryly, her voice scored with an undertone of something David couldn’t identify. Annoyance at David for forgetting the introduction? The same unidentified distance that had pried the two apart ever since the start of her trip to LA?

  A second later, though, Chloe wore a big smile on her face. “Nice to meet you, Kathleen.” The ladies shook hands, and Chloe invited them inside while she finished getting dres
sed and grabbed her things.

  David leaned against the kitchen counter, hanging back and listening while the two women talked. Yet again, he questioned whether he had imagined that barely-perceptible off-note in Chloe’s voice. It was still early. Maybe she was just a bit sleepy.

  David did his best to participate in the car conversation, but he soon shut his mouth and concentrated on driving when his inattentiveness forced him into a rather abrupt halt behind a car that had been stationary for a few full seconds. Talking and driving was fine. Talking and driving while trying to analyze every sentence and expression from the woman beside him as he looked for anything out of the ordinary wasn’t working.

  They made it to the canyon without further incident, stopped at the water fountain to fill their bottles and trudged into the soft light of dawn. As they walked, some of David’s worries about Chloe actually began to fade, bowing out to make room for a vivid appreciation for early-morning fresh air.

  This was why David chose to spend most of his life outside. The world was so big that when he explored it, all his troubles seemed small and insignificant.

  David got about twenty minutes of worry-free walking and nature appreciation before they left behind the open space near the parking lots and passed beneath the looming cliffs. That was when it came back. It, the reason they were here.

  Rock climbing. Rock climbing on walls that could be over a hundred feet tall. Rock climbing with Kathleen, his cousin, and only with her, so David couldn’t talk his way out of belaying her.

  David’s hands started to shake. He shoved them deep into his pockets, drawing in rapid breaths like a drowning man. It’ll be fine. It’s one day. One day of climbing in years of never climbing with Kathleen. Nothing is going to happen. The odds are just impossible.

  “Here looks good,” Kathleen said, pulling the guide book out of her bag. “These routes are good for warming up, and we’ll be out of here before the sun crests the top and gets in our eyes.”

  “Sure.” David had to work so much harder than usual to get those words around the chokehold tension had on his throat.

  Chloe eyed the cliff doubtfully. “You guys go ahead and warm up on those, and I’ll warm up on this.” She held up her camera to a chuckle from Kathleen.

  David had to overcome the kind of frozen that had nothing to do with cold to slip his backpack off his shoulders. “I’ll go first.” If he had to climb with Kathleen, he would at least climb every single route first and make absolutely sure that it was safe before she got on the wall.

  David had braced himself for a day spent overcoming sheer terror, but as he and Kathleen took turns climbing route after route, he found himself relaxing a little. Kathleen wasn’t entirely oblivious. She knew the accident still haunted David, and she never argued with his continuous requests that he climb first.

  Besides, Chloe was here, watching and taking pictures. David knew that she knew nothing about climbing, but just having her around calmed his nerves. It didn’t make sense, this effect she had on him, but some things didn’t need to be explained.

  I can do this. That’s all that matters.

  Firmly, David held back his nervousness and focused on the sport he loved so much. Nothing so much as a scrape happened by the time they stopped for lunch, unpacking the over-the-shoulder coolers and laying out their fine spread of sandwich-making equipment. Chloe got a couple shots of the picnic for her blog before they tucked in, crafting masterpieces of wheat bread, ham, turkey, cheese, pickles, lettuce, tomatoes and condiments.

  “Ready to try something harder?” Kathleen asked after they chatted and munched for an hour or so.

  “Uh…” Oh no! In the face of the mental challenge of climbing with Kathleen, David had completely forgotten his intention to talk to Chloe over lunch.

  Kathleen glanced at the single bite of sandwich left in David’s hand. “Tell you what, you finish up and I’ll go around the corner with the guidebook to look at some routes. Be right back.” Dust scattered as Kathleen unfolded her crossed legs and wandered off, her nose buried in the guidebook’s pages.

  “Maybe I’ll go too,” Chloe said quickly, polishing off her own sandwich.

  “No!” The fear of losing yet another opportunity sent David’s hand shooting out before he could stop himself, grabbing her arm. “Sorry. I mean, can we talk?”

  For a second, David thought she was going to give him a flat-out refusal, although he couldn’t imagine why she would do that. “Yeah. Sure.”

  “Is something wrong?”

  His bluntness didn’t have the effect he had hoped. “No, why would you ask?” Her words sounded rehearsed, and they should. David had heard them a few times over the phone, and he didn’t believe them now any more than he had then.

  “Are you sure?” Wow, what a familiar response. He had used that one over the phone, too.

  “Yeah. I’m just a bit cold. Forgot my jacket in the car.” She rubbed the sleeves of her sweatshirt for emphasis.

  “You could have told me sooner! Here.” David pulled his own jacket from the chair he had tossed it over and handed it to her.

  “Thanks.” Chloe got up and started to turn away.

  “It’s just that you’ve been acting differently since you went to Los Angeles,” David blurted out, his desperation increasing as his chance to understand slipped away.

  That got her to stop in her tracks, at least. “I just had some family stuff I was dealing with.”

  “That you couldn’t tell me?” David asked, finally throwing caution to the winds.

  “Yes.” Annoyance crept into her voice, and it was no hint this time. She turned fully to face him, her brown eyes flashing like the sun off the canyon rock. “I didn’t realize I needed to tell you. It’s not like you’ll be around much longer anyway. Atlanta, remember? Competition?”

  “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” He tried to take a step toward Chloe, but she matched it in the other direction. So close, yet as untouchable as the sun. His heart yearned for her, but it was clear she was having none of it.

  “What, David?” She glanced in the direction Kathleen had gone and lowered her voice. “What is there to talk about? You love your sport and you do it all over the country. I live in Reno and I don’t climb. It’s obvious we were never going to work, not like—like—" Her voice stuttered to a halt.

  “Maybe we can figure something out. I want to figure something out, Chloe.” He tried another step toward her. It took her longer this time, like the decision was a hard one, but she stepped away again. Frustration crept into his pleading gaze. He wasn’t saying the right things—the ones in his heart. His lips twitched, but no words came to them. It was like years of repressing his feelings had stolen the power of expression from him when he needed it most.

  “You don’t mean that,” she said miserably. This new resignation cut David deeper than any amount of anger. “You have Julian. And all your other climbing friends. And—and Kathleen. You don’t need me tying you down to Reno.”

  “What do you mean, ‘not like’?” David asked.

  “What?” His abrupt change of tack stopped the tears forming in her eyes.

  “You said we were never going to work,” David reminded her. “Not like… something. Not like what?” Through the devastation, David couldn’t shake the feeling that something else was wrong here. The distance was a problem, maybe even a deal-breaking one, but Chloe wouldn’t even give him a chance to try and hash it out. Something else was eating at her, and she wouldn’t tell him what it was so he could do something about it.

  Chloe hesitated. David could see the scales in her eyes, the weights jumping back and forth between yes, tell him and no, don’t.

  Dirt crunched, and Chloe turned away from David, hiding her face from Kathleen’s return. Oblivious that she had just interrupted something, Kathleen said brightly, “I found some good routes! Let’s pack it up and give them a try. I assume you want to climb first?”

  A few minutes later, David f
lagged his right foot, using the rubber toe of his shoe to keep himself from swinging away from the rock as he reached for a small rail of stone on his left. His fingers hit it solidly and he looked down to move his feet.

  His gaze went past his feet, following the drop all the way down to Kathleen in her harness, waiting for David to make his next move before she gave him some slack in the rope. Just a little further away David could see Chloe, clutching his too-large jacket to her chest and watching Kathleen despondently.

  David had felt a lot of fear in his life. He felt fear watching those he loved climb after the accident. He felt fearful of getting close to anyone, because he had learned the hard way that he could lose anyone at any time. But now, looking down at Chloe, a fear like none he had ever felt before sank icy claws into his chest - the fear of not just experiencing loss, but creating it through that fear.

  Climbing wouldn’t hurt Chloe, but clinging to the past would. If he kept holding onto this fear of loss, he would lose her forever… but he didn’t know how to let go.

  Chapter Eleven: Chloe

  Cool air washed over Chloe’s ankle from the vent above her old couch as the apartment’s heating system hummed to life. Distastefully, she rubbed the spot, then tugged her blanket over the exposed ankle.

  More air wafted across her knee, warmer as the heat began to kick in but still cool enough to intensify the frown on Chloe’s already gloomy face. She gave that side of the blanket a little pull to sever the air’s path to her skin.

  Less than a second passed before Chloe’s toes curled involuntarily against yet another touch of exposure. The air was quite warm now, but Chloe didn’t care. She tossed her little throw blanket aside, went to her room and snatched the queen-sized blanket off her bed, sending pillow-missiles flying everywhere with enough velocity to take out a pile of folded clothes and a floor lamp. Ignoring the mess, she took the blanket back to the couch and tucked every single edge between her body and the cushions.

  Her anger quickly died away and left only the same dull hopelessness she had felt while watching David and Kathleen climb together. Saturday had confirmed every single one of Chloe’s fears. Kathleen was a friendly, energetic and beautiful person, and David couldn’t have missed the way her hair gleamed in the sunlight and her shoulders stood out against her form-fitting athletic clothes as she climbed. She was the kind of woman David wanted. Curvy, unathletic Chloe could never compare with slim, sporty Kathleen. Chloe could never be what David wanted. It had been a waste of her time and her heart to even try.